Dirty SMS

Boy: Chand taro ko bhi nind aa rahi hai, Teri maa ki ch*t tu ab aa rahi hai.

Girl: maa ki ch*t ka na de vasta, kholti hu chaddi kar le nashta...
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A lady & shopkeeper negotiating 4 the price of bra and panty.

Shopkeeper: Bhabhiji, Bra mein maine aapka rakha.....Lekin Panty

mein mera rakhna padega.
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Lady 2 man: Why u keep "Taweez" and condom together in ur wallet?
Man reply: Bhoot or ch*t ka kuch pata nahi..Kahin bhi mil jaaye...
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Fact about life:

Fact about life:

1. Lund or ghamand, dono ko kabu mein rakhne mein hi bhalai hai.

2. Zindgi or jaat, dono ulje hue hai inhe suljane ki koshish mat kana.

3. Dood or gand, jab fat te hai to awaj nahi aati.

4. Samay or chutiya, sabka kat ta hai.

5. Biwi or gadi, dusre ko doge to chud kar hi wapis aayegi.

6. Rocket or tharak, aadmi ko kahi bhi le ja sakte hai.

7. Tuti (Nal) or loda, hamesha tede hi rehte hai.

8. Aand chahe jitne bhi bade kyu na ho jaaye rahenge hamesha lund k niche.

9. Chut or bhoot kismat walo ko hi milte hai.

10. Chut or daru kabhi bhi juthi nahi hoti.

11. Basi chut or purana akbar jaha bhi dikhe faad do.

12. Hari jandi or randi ko dekhte hi bhaglo.

13. Naukri or gand sab ki lagti hai.

14. Kaman se nikla tir jitna tez ho or gand se nikla paad jitna dheere utna hi asardaar hota hai.

15. Kaman se nikla teer or gand se nikla gu kabhi wapas nahi aate.

16. Jaban or lund dono mein haddi nahi hoti.

17. Chut or boot(Shoes) ko jitna ragdoge utna hi chamkenge.

18. Ladai or chudai mein sab jayaj hai.

19. Bahan ke lodo GAND mein dum hai to 19va khud nikal lo.

Dirty SMS

3 gujrati women went to chaat shop.

1st woman: manne chat.
2nd woman: manne ragdo(tikki).
3rd woman: manne pehle chat phir ragdo!!
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On 1st night

Wife: aaj mera upwaas hai!

Husband slaped his wife and said: kya mere lu*d par aata laga hai jo tera upwas tut jayega.
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Mallika Sherawat goes 2 doctor,
Doctor, itni garmi mein,
Shooting, partying etc
Main nahate waqt sabun
Lagau ya shampoo?

Ji, nahate waqt bathroom
Ka kunda zaroor lagaye.
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Girl: Main jab bhi apne pados
wale ladke ko dekhti hu,
meri bra tight ho jati hai.

To uski Ma Boli
"Kal se bra hi mat pehan,
uski pant tight ho jayegi!!"
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Gabbar : Yeh haath mujhe dede Thakur

Thakur : Lele Bhanch*d, lekin subah
8 baje meri ga*d dhone aa jaana!    
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Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.

Viru: nahi Basantiin kutto
ke samne chaddi mat utarna.

Basanti: Viru dar mat maine
chaddi pahni hi nahi hai...    
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One hakla went 4 a interview & was asked
to say - Institute, Obstitute & Substitute.
Hakla said: Inkichut, Aapkichut & Sabkichut !!    
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•
Q: Who should be the latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team?

Ans: Wisper Ultra, coz the team is undergoing its worst period!    
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[Fwd: d]

I am proud being ur friend
because ur:-

20% Great
20% Attractive
20% Noble
20% Dashing
20% Ultra-modern
in short ur 100% G.A.N.D.U.
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