Naughty SMS

Mili hai bahut saja unse dil lagane ki,
Nazar lag gayi hamare pyar ko jamane ki,
Kabar se dono haath nikle hue kehte hai,
Arzu reh gayi us ke dono (.)(.) dabane ki.

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Naughty SMS

Nude banta in new shoes: Do u see sumthing new.
Wife: No, ur d i c k hanging down as usual.
Angry Banta: b'coz Its looking at my new shoes.
Wife: Oh, Get a new hat then.
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What is the diffrence between patiala peg & patiala salwar?


1 chadti jaldi hai aur 2 utarti jaldi hai.
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What is the diffrence between hook in cricket & hook of Bra?


1 ball ko boundry se bahar rakhta hai or 2 Balls ko boundry l andar

rakhta hai.
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Naughty Sms

Try this Its fun
Think a number
b/w 1-9
*2
-3
*5
+8

Write it on paper
Now fold that paper
aur usko apni gaaand mein daal le
FUN chahiye sale ko...
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Galib par 1 ladki ne SU SU kar diya.
Galib: Ae chanchal shokh hasina ye kaisi nadani hai?
Girl: Jis jeel se tumne janam liya ye use jeel ka pani hai.
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Agar kahi dil na lage, Sab kuch ajeeb sa lage, man bhari bhari sa lage,
kahi akele baithne ka dil kare to samaj lena k...

Tumhe tatti aayi hai.. :)
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Height of sophistication
Suckking nipples with straw.
Height of Technology
Condom with ZIP.
Height of Penetraion
Baby girl born pregnent.
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Yaar hamesha aapko SMS bhejta hu aaj 1 MAAL bhej raha hu

(-_-)
/ /
(.(.
).(
/ V )

Ch0d k wapas bhejna forward kar k rand mat bana dena.
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Naughty SMS

Zoo me hathi ka land dekh kar baccha bola: Maa ye kya hai?
Maa: Kuch nahi?
Turant papa bola: Dekh beta teri maa k liye ye bhi kuch nahi.
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Techer: Bhais doodh dene k baad depress kyu ho jati hai?
Boy: Mam agar aapki chuchi ko koi roz 2 ghanto tak dabaye aur chuuudai
na kare to aap ko kaisa lagega?
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Boy: tum gana bahut accha gati ho.
Girl: nahi main to bathroom singer hu.
Boy: To bulao na kabhi mehfil jamate hai.
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What is the similarity between burnt toast & pregnent lady?

Dono mein aadmi sochta hai kaas 1 min pehle nikal leta to accha hota.
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Angry boss: tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?
Exicutive(sar jukate hue): Nahi sir.
Boss: to niche kya dekh rahe ho meri taraf dekho.
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Simply by typing 'Join SMS_HUNK' & send it to 567678. Anyone can become
member & recive our SMS @ free of cost.
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Naughty SMS

A naked woman was laying on the beach with hat on her pu$$y. A sardar passed by and comment: Kamal hai ye banda to pura hi andar gus gaya.
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In U.P if a lady is preagnant by 1 man surname of the child is
Ekantji
By
2 dubeji
3 trivedi
4 chaturvedi
5 pandeji
by every1 Mishraji &
by UNKNOWN "GUPTAJI"
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Lehro se milkar na wo beh sake na hum,
1 duje k dil me na wo reh sake na hum,
Lut lete unki izzat 1 din,
lekin kamre ka jugad na wo kar sake na hum.
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Pini hai cigrate to Gold Flake ki pio, Navy Cut me kya rakha hai,
Pini hai cigrate to Gold Flake ki pio, Navy Cut me kya rakha hai,
Marni hai CHUUT to shadishuda ki maro, Kuwari fuuuddi me kya rakha hai.
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Galib ne ladki ko periods me dekha to arz kiya:

Salwar k niche se pani tapak tapak k laal aata hai.

Kamal ho gaya galib,

Kya phudda bhi paan khata hai.
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A punjabi Bra add:
Har kudi di pehli pasand
#PREETO*BRA# Hun 6 sizan wich:
1. Small
2. Medium
3. Large
4. Balle Balle
5. Hai O Rabbaa
6. O teri phen di. . .
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1 buddha Blue Film dekh kar zor zor se hath hilane laga.
Boy: Kya hua?
Buddha: Hona kya hai, 30 saal baad muskil se khada hua hai, to haath so gaya.
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A child on juice corner:
Papa ji koi aisi machine hai jisme juice dalo to fal nikalta hai?
Papa: hai teri mummy, Us me maine juice dala to tu nikla.
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Teacher: What do u call a person who Doesn't use CONDOM?
All student Simultenously shouted . . .


PAPA papa papa. . .
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Narad ji kehte hai: Nari nari mat kar murakh. Nari hai narak ka dwar. Khush bhi hogi to kya degi? Mal mutra ka dwar...!! NArayan NaRayan. . .
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Arz kiya hai:

Wah bakri teri bhi kya shaan hai,

Zara gaur farmaiyega,

Wah bakri teri bhi kya shaan hai,

Puch k iche hinggoli ki dukaan hai.
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Adult hindi & punjabhi SMS

1 chota sardar apni maa ko chugli karta hai: mummy billo anty ki billi ne

sharab pi hai.
Maa: accha tuje kaise pata?
Chota Sardar: Papa use keh rahe the teri pussy to badi nashili hai.
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Punjabi teacher 2 a syudent: "table par ink kisne girayi?" ise punjabi me kya

kahenge. Student: Eh kinne maa Chud_i hai?
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Karishma asked kareena: Didi meri pu$$y par baal kyu nahi aate hai?
karishma: Tumne kabhi bhi busy tarffic road par gaas (Grass) ugte dekhi hai?
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Hindi non veg

1 sardar k yaha tisri baar ladki hui, to usne ailaan kiya ki mera beta paida hua hai. 1 dost ne kaha ki ye to ladki hai. Sardar bola "Ae mundda niche maa te gaya hai."
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Noni SMS

R_pe case advocate 2 victm: Aap bata sakti hai ki wo aadmi kaun tha.
Victm: Koi bahar ka tha.
Advocate: Kyu?
Victm: Itna lamba hamare yaha par kisi ka nahi hai.
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FRIENDSHIP is like hair on P_nis,
every time u shave, it grows again & again and become harder 7 harder.
Thanks 4 being my LAWDE KA BAAL.
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Phool bankar kya jina, 1 din murja jaoge to dafna diye jaoge.
Jina hai to patthar ban kar jiyo, kabhi murti bhi ban gaye to khuda
kehlaoge.
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1 lady ne apni goad mein 1 baby le rakha tha jiska pao us ki ch_t par
lag raha tha. manchala bola: tera pao choom lu to maja aa jaye.
Lady boli:Is k baap ka land chus le wo to ch_t andar pura jata hai.
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1 call girl subah naha dho kar apni panty k andar agarbatti guma rahi
thi. Dusri call girl ne pucha: Ye kya kar rahi ho?
1st call girl: Dukan kholne ka time ho gaya hai.
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1 admi gaurd se pata hai main C.M k bahut close hu. Muje andar jane de.
Gaurd: Sir tatte bhi land k CLOSE hote hai par kabhi andar nahi jaate.
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Non veg SMS

Paisa GA_D ki tarah hai,
Hota sab ke pass hai par dena koi nahi chahta.

Mashwara LU_D ki tarah hai,
Dena har koi chahta hai par lena koi nahi chahta.
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A cople went 4 honey moon 4 a week. After returning husband asked: How was D

whole week?
Wife: "The whole week made my hole weak"
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Sardar with grandson @ late nite shout
"i need a girl, i have an era_tion"

Grandson says: "1st its 2 late
2nd u r 75 year old
3rd the c0ck u holding is mine"
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Rich man 2 poorman - Tumhara lu_d itna bada kaise hai?
poorman: Bachpan mein mere pass khelne ke liye sirf yahi 1 khilona tha.
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Non veg SMS

Master 2 banta: Hath me kitni ungliya hoti hai.
Banta: ji 6
Master: Oye kitni baar bola hai ki kacche me hath dal kar mat gina kar.
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Girl: Doctor main jab su su karti hu to 4 dhar nikalti hai.
Doctor: 4 dhar hi niklegi, andar kisi ki pant ka button fas gaya hai.
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Dog road par sex kar raha tha.
Son: papa ye kutta kutiya kya kar rahe hai?
Papa: kutta kutiya ko chalna sikha raha hai.
Son: To is me ch0dne ki kya baat hai.
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Mom found condeom in daughter's room she went straight & ask her: Ye kya
hai?
Girl: To aap kya chahti hai main is umar me maa ban jau.
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AIR Officer ne pathan se pucha: Air hostess ne thapar kyu mara?
Pathan: O yara us ki kamiz G A N D me fasa hua tha maine nikala to usne
humko gusse se dekha hame laga ki us ko bura laga to humne kamiz wapas G
a n d me dal diya.
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Santa ko susu karta dekh 1 ladki ne rasta badal liya.
Santa: O madam ghabrao mat tum jis se dar rahi ho use maine pakad rakha hai.
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Teacher bacche se: Batao jab ladkiya so k uthti hai to aakhe kyu masalti
hai.
Baccha: Miss kyuki un k pass masalne k liye Tatte nahi hote hai.
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Sardar se us ki G.F ne b00bs Chusne ko kaha, Thodi der baad wo rone laga.
G.F: kya hua? Santa: Kuch nahi MAA ki yaad aa gayi.
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Husban condom dekh kar wife se kahta hai: Ye kachara yaha kyu pada hai?
Wife: Tumhare 2 dost aaye the kela khila kar chilka yaha fek gaye.
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1 angoorwali ne bra nahi pahan rakhi thi.
1 admi bola: X-cuse me aam dikh rahe hai.
angoorwali: Tabhi to angoor bik rahe hai.
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Tumhara naam phool rakhu to bikhar jaoge,
dil rakhu to tut jaoge,
Lo tumhara naam lu_d rakh deta hu,
Waqt padne par khade to ho jaoge.
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Jab aapko tatti na aaye,
Aap baithe baithe thak jaye,
Pressure bhi nahi aaye,
Yaad kar k dekhna hume,
Shayad GA_D phat jaaye or dast lag jaye.
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Hakeem baba: Ye lo beti ye goli tumhare boy frnd 1 khaye ga to uska
lamba ho jayega, 2 khayega to khamba ho jayega or 3...
Ladki: Bas baba hume sex karna hai koi gadda nahi karna.
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"All girls are beautigul when lights switch off" By Shakesphere.

"All boys are strong before sperms are off" By Shakingspere.
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Kal ch00de se aaj ch00d,
Aaj ch00de so ab,
Biwi to ch_dti rahegi,
sali ch00dega kab.
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Song BY EMINEM-

SONG BY EMINEM-
I ws walking in D street with D dick in my hand. Hey u mother "fucker" i m king of D land. I had a 100 virgins up against d wall & i decided 2 go & "FUCK" them all. I fucked 98 n my balls turned blue. I had peg of wisky and "fuck" the other 2. Then god decided 2 snd me 2 hell. There i "fucked" devils wife n daughter as well. On earth they wrote on my tomb in green. This is not a man but a "fucking" machine.
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Dirty indian SMS

Sardar ka beta 5th class me fail hua to 4th me wapis aaya.. 4th me fail hua to 3rd me wapis aaya.. 3rd me fail to 2nd me aaya..

Sardar biwi se bola panty tight kar le Wapas aa raha hai..
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Pandit phati dhoti pahan kar mandir mein mattha takne k liye juka to 1 aurat ne daan peti samaj kar sikka dal diya. Pandit mud kar bola ab ghanta bhi baja le.
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Rap case court mein.
Vakil: Bahanji bolo kya hua?
Pehle isne muje giraya. phir bahan ji? Phir peticot phada. phir bahanji? Phir aap ki Bahan CHUD gayi..
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D0sti Phuddi nahi jo Chu d jaye,
D0sti gaaand nahi jo phat jaye,
D0sti mumme nahi jo pakde jaye,
D0sti to lun d hai jo uthe to jamana hil jaaye.
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Aaj jab main apni bra utar rahi thi to 1 ladka muje dekh raha tha. Sardar: Phir tumne kya kiya? Sardarni: Maine BRA se apna mu chupa liya. :D
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Aap par arz kiya hai-
Tharki ka janaja kabr mein pada hai,

Tharki ka janaja kabr mein pada hai,

Handiya gal gayi par L U N D abhi bhi khada hai.
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Dabral(apne bete ko mutth marte hue dekh kar)- "sonu"harami" ye tu kya kar raha hai?
Son- SONU apna kaam khud karta hai, Apni khushi ke liye kisi ki "MAA NAHI C.H.0.D.T.A".
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Wife: tumhari secretary ne sab k samne kaha ki tumhari "LULLI" bahut choti hai.Is baat ki safai do.
Pati: Such to ye hai ki us saali ka mu bahut bada hai.
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Schwarzenegger Super Cows]

LIVING LONGER ( A Doctors Advice )(16+)

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look at me, enjoyyyyyy......