Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Naughty jokes
Wife: tumhari secretary ne sab k samne kaha ki tumhari "LULLI" bahut choti hai.Is
baat ki safai do.
Pati: Such to ye hai ki us saali ka mu bahut bada hai.
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Dabral(apne bete ko mutth marte hue dekh kar)- "sonu"harami" ye tu kya kar raha
hai?
Son- SONU apna kaam khud karta hai, Apni khushi ke liye kisi ki "MAA NAHI
C.H.0.D.T.A".
======
Aap par arz kiya hai-
Tharki ka janaja kabr mein pada hai,
Tharki ka janaja kabr mein pada hai,
Handiya gal gayi par L U N D abhi bhi khada hai.
======
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Dirty SMS
Garib Wife- suno ji "WHISPER" chahiye.
Garib husband- yaha bhukh mitane ke liye roti nahi
aur tujhe choot sukhane k liye ''DOUBLEROTI'' chahiye..
======
On a wedding nght a nervous Arvind tells his Wife
'Im just 5 Ft 6 inches! & ur..?
'Wife: 'Forget the 5ft.Lets Concentrate on d 6 inches!'
======
Garib husband- yaha bhukh mitane ke liye roti nahi
aur tujhe choot sukhane k liye ''DOUBLEROTI'' chahiye..
======
On a wedding nght a nervous Arvind tells his Wife
'Im just 5 Ft 6 inches! & ur..?
'Wife: 'Forget the 5ft.Lets Concentrate on d 6 inches!'
======
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Dirty SMS
Maa: Beti kaha gayi thi?
Beti: Ch*t. recharge karne.
Maa: Shadi karaadu kya?
Beti: Kyu?
Maa: Lifetime incoming free ho jayega.
======
Your Name?
Abu Dalah Sarafi.
Sex?
Four times a week.
No, no, no male or female?
Male, female... sometimes camel.
======
What's the diff between hook in cricket and hook of bra.
One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary.
======
A foriegner had very spicy Indian dinner.
Next morning he comes out of the toilet n says,
now I understnd why Indian's use water.
Bloody tissue's can catch fire..
======
Beti: Ch*t. recharge karne.
Maa: Shadi karaadu kya?
Beti: Kyu?
Maa: Lifetime incoming free ho jayega.
======
Your Name?
Abu Dalah Sarafi.
Sex?
Four times a week.
No, no, no male or female?
Male, female... sometimes camel.
======
What's the diff between hook in cricket and hook of bra.
One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary.
======
A foriegner had very spicy Indian dinner.
Next morning he comes out of the toilet n says,
now I understnd why Indian's use water.
Bloody tissue's can catch fire..
======
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Naughty SMS
Ladka: hum 25 behan bhai hai.
Ladki: kia aap k ghar family planing wale nahi aate ?
Ladka: aaye the school samajh k wapas chale gaye.
======
2 Pagal Ja Rahy Thay In Kay Samnay Say 1 Oorat Ja Rahii Thi Is
Nay Apni Bra Main Bisket Rakay Hooe Thay
1 Pagal:Ya Kia Ker Rahii Hay?????
2 Pagal: Yar Samja Ker Na Doodh Main Bisket Duboo Kar Kha Rahi Hai.
======
Ladki: kia aap k ghar family planing wale nahi aate ?
Ladka: aaye the school samajh k wapas chale gaye.
======
2 Pagal Ja Rahy Thay In Kay Samnay Say 1 Oorat Ja Rahii Thi Is
Nay Apni Bra Main Bisket Rakay Hooe Thay
1 Pagal:Ya Kia Ker Rahii Hay?????
2 Pagal: Yar Samja Ker Na Doodh Main Bisket Duboo Kar Kha Rahi Hai.
======
Dirty SMS
Mubarak Ho
Govt ne Teri Sun Li
Bari Tension me thay Tum
Dosro ko daikh ker taraptay thay
Ab Khush ho ja
Market may
1 inch ki luli ka Condom a gya hay.
======
Sardar: Hari sabji mat banaya karo
Biwi: Hari sabji me iron yani loha hota Hai
Sardar: tainu kya meri G.A.N.D. me se salakhe nikalni hai.
======
Girl: Dr, My B.o.o.b.s R Small. Pls Do Somethng ?
Dr: Cum Everyday. I Wil S.u.c.k & Make Them Big.
Girl : Ok Then I Wil Get My Husband Also
His P.e.n.i.s. Is Also Small !
======
One rapiest goes to hell, Yamraj told his dasi fry him in oil. After some time yamraj aske to dasi : kyu nahi fry kiya ? Dasi : ye to chula jalane ke liye bhi jukane nahi deta.
======
Why is sex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...
======
A lady was on road wid hr top open & right b**b hanging out. Policeman stops & asks wat is dis? Lady:Hi-o-Rbba! Munna to bus me hi reh gaya.
======
Govt ne Teri Sun Li
Bari Tension me thay Tum
Dosro ko daikh ker taraptay thay
Ab Khush ho ja
Market may
1 inch ki luli ka Condom a gya hay.
======
Sardar: Hari sabji mat banaya karo
Biwi: Hari sabji me iron yani loha hota Hai
Sardar: tainu kya meri G.A.N.D. me se salakhe nikalni hai.
======
Girl: Dr, My B.o.o.b.s R Small. Pls Do Somethng ?
Dr: Cum Everyday. I Wil S.u.c.k & Make Them Big.
Girl : Ok Then I Wil Get My Husband Also
His P.e.n.i.s. Is Also Small !
======
One rapiest goes to hell, Yamraj told his dasi fry him in oil. After some time yamraj aske to dasi : kyu nahi fry kiya ? Dasi : ye to chula jalane ke liye bhi jukane nahi deta.
======
Why is sex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...
======
A lady was on road wid hr top open & right b**b hanging out. Policeman stops & asks wat is dis? Lady:Hi-o-Rbba! Munna to bus me hi reh gaya.
======
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Naughty SMS
Burial worker: ur husband's coffin isn't closing due2 erect p-*nis.
Wife:Cut it & put in his ass, thats d only hole in town he hasn't F#cked!
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Mere dost ki ek saheli thi,
dosti hui to paheli thi,
pyar hua to jaan hatheli pe thi,
aur shadi hui to pata chala
grant road ki CHAMELI thi.
======
Once A Father Asked To His Son
"Do U Know Who Is Sania Mirza"
Son Reply "Tennis Player"
Second Ques From Father
"Do U Know Who Is Mallika Sherawat?"
Son Reply "Penis Player" :P
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Cop 2 Sharabi:Whr r u goin?
Shrabi:Daru 'pine se nuksan' par Parvachan Sunne
Cop:Itni Raat ko kaun prvachn deta hai?
Sharabi:Patni Aur Saas.
======
A sardar and a girl were
having sex suddenly Sardar
asks - Do u have AIDS?
Girl: No. Sardar: thank god,
I dont wann to get that again!
======
Man: Behanji, mere biwi k liye eik AchA sa BRA Dikhaana...
Woman: Size kya hai..?
Man: Pakdo Tou AnDa.. auR ChoDo Tou OmLette
======
Wife:Cut it & put in his ass, thats d only hole in town he hasn't F#cked!
======
Mere dost ki ek saheli thi,
dosti hui to paheli thi,
pyar hua to jaan hatheli pe thi,
aur shadi hui to pata chala
grant road ki CHAMELI thi.
======
Once A Father Asked To His Son
"Do U Know Who Is Sania Mirza"
Son Reply "Tennis Player"
Second Ques From Father
"Do U Know Who Is Mallika Sherawat?"
Son Reply "Penis Player" :P
======
Cop 2 Sharabi:Whr r u goin?
Shrabi:Daru 'pine se nuksan' par Parvachan Sunne
Cop:Itni Raat ko kaun prvachn deta hai?
Sharabi:Patni Aur Saas.
======
A sardar and a girl were
having sex suddenly Sardar
asks - Do u have AIDS?
Girl: No. Sardar: thank god,
I dont wann to get that again!
======
Man: Behanji, mere biwi k liye eik AchA sa BRA Dikhaana...
Woman: Size kya hai..?
Man: Pakdo Tou AnDa.. auR ChoDo Tou OmLette
======
Monday, December 3, 2007
Dirty SMS
Father Explaining To Son To Not Go To Prostitutes:
Puttar If U Go To Prostitutes... "Tainu AIDS Ho Jaayegi"
Phir Teri Woti Nu...
Phir Mainu...
Phir Teri Maa Nu... Aur
Phir Saare Pind (Village) Nu...
======
Aajkal Ke Baaache Bahut Hi Shataan Hain
Umar Sirf 2 Mahine Ki
Ek To Muh Se Chooste Hain
Aur
Doosara Haath Se Dabaate Hain..
======
Girl n Boy lost in a Jungle, after fews days of struggle for food and water..
Girl said to boy.. "PLEASE F**K ME".
Boy: why dear..?
Girl: Abey.... Kuch Tou undaR Jaayega..
======
Sardar 2 his Wife:
My frend told me dat he has f**kd every woman in our buildng excpt one
Wife: "It must be Poonam on 4th floor. She is very traditional"!
======
Puttar If U Go To Prostitutes... "Tainu AIDS Ho Jaayegi"
Phir Teri Woti Nu...
Phir Mainu...
Phir Teri Maa Nu... Aur
Phir Saare Pind (Village) Nu...
======
Aajkal Ke Baaache Bahut Hi Shataan Hain
Umar Sirf 2 Mahine Ki
Ek To Muh Se Chooste Hain
Aur
Doosara Haath Se Dabaate Hain..
======
Girl n Boy lost in a Jungle, after fews days of struggle for food and water..
Girl said to boy.. "PLEASE F**K ME".
Boy: why dear..?
Girl: Abey.... Kuch Tou undaR Jaayega..
======
Sardar 2 his Wife:
My frend told me dat he has f**kd every woman in our buildng excpt one
Wife: "It must be Poonam on 4th floor. She is very traditional"!
======
Naughty SMS
A manipuri couple named their
1st baby Bhai Chung Butiya.
2nd Bahan Chung Bhutiya.
3rd a negro was born they
named him Kaun Hai Ye Chutiya.
======
Sant kabir in computer...
"kahat 'kabir' suno bhai sadho"
ek aisa din bhi aayega,
ch*t ch*degi computer se,
aur bacha fax se aayega"
======
2 girls returng from movie
1st: mera purse chori ho gaya!
2nd Girl: tu to bra mein rakhti thi.
1st: mujhe kya pata SAALA chori
kar raha hai!
======
Air hostess: Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai? SARDAR: 'Chain' hai par khulti nahi hai!!!
======
1st baby Bhai Chung Butiya.
2nd Bahan Chung Bhutiya.
3rd a negro was born they
named him Kaun Hai Ye Chutiya.
======
Sant kabir in computer...
"kahat 'kabir' suno bhai sadho"
ek aisa din bhi aayega,
ch*t ch*degi computer se,
aur bacha fax se aayega"
======
2 girls returng from movie
1st: mera purse chori ho gaya!
2nd Girl: tu to bra mein rakhti thi.
1st: mujhe kya pata SAALA chori
kar raha hai!
======
Air hostess: Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai? SARDAR: 'Chain' hai par khulti nahi hai!!!
======
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Dirty SMS
Boy: Chand taro ko bhi nind aa rahi hai, Teri maa ki ch*t tu ab aa rahi hai.
Girl: maa ki ch*t ka na de vasta, kholti hu chaddi kar le nashta...
======
A lady & shopkeeper negotiating 4 the price of bra and panty.
Shopkeeper: Bhabhiji, Bra mein maine aapka rakha.....Lekin Panty
mein mera rakhna padega.
======
Lady 2 man: Why u keep "Taweez" and condom together in ur wallet?
Man reply: Bhoot or ch*t ka kuch pata nahi..Kahin bhi mil jaaye...
======
Fact about life:
Fact about life:
1. Lund or ghamand, dono ko kabu mein rakhne mein hi bhalai hai.
2. Zindgi or jaat, dono ulje hue hai inhe suljane ki koshish mat kana.
3. Dood or gand, jab fat te hai to awaj nahi aati.
4. Samay or chutiya, sabka kat ta hai.
5. Biwi or gadi, dusre ko doge to chud kar hi wapis aayegi.
6. Rocket or tharak, aadmi ko kahi bhi le ja sakte hai.
7. Tuti (Nal) or loda, hamesha tede hi rehte hai.
8. Aand chahe jitne bhi bade kyu na ho jaaye rahenge hamesha lund k niche.
9. Chut or bhoot kismat walo ko hi milte hai.
10. Chut or daru kabhi bhi juthi nahi hoti.
11. Basi chut or purana akbar jaha bhi dikhe faad do.
12. Hari jandi or randi ko dekhte hi bhaglo.
13. Naukri or gand sab ki lagti hai.
14. Kaman se nikla tir jitna tez ho or gand se nikla paad jitna dheere utna hi asardaar hota hai.
15. Kaman se nikla teer or gand se nikla gu kabhi wapas nahi aate.
16. Jaban or lund dono mein haddi nahi hoti.
17. Chut or boot(Shoes) ko jitna ragdoge utna hi chamkenge.
18. Ladai or chudai mein sab jayaj hai.
19. Bahan ke lodo GAND mein dum hai to 19va khud nikal lo.
1. Lund or ghamand, dono ko kabu mein rakhne mein hi bhalai hai.
2. Zindgi or jaat, dono ulje hue hai inhe suljane ki koshish mat kana.
3. Dood or gand, jab fat te hai to awaj nahi aati.
4. Samay or chutiya, sabka kat ta hai.
5. Biwi or gadi, dusre ko doge to chud kar hi wapis aayegi.
6. Rocket or tharak, aadmi ko kahi bhi le ja sakte hai.
7. Tuti (Nal) or loda, hamesha tede hi rehte hai.
8. Aand chahe jitne bhi bade kyu na ho jaaye rahenge hamesha lund k niche.
9. Chut or bhoot kismat walo ko hi milte hai.
10. Chut or daru kabhi bhi juthi nahi hoti.
11. Basi chut or purana akbar jaha bhi dikhe faad do.
12. Hari jandi or randi ko dekhte hi bhaglo.
13. Naukri or gand sab ki lagti hai.
14. Kaman se nikla tir jitna tez ho or gand se nikla paad jitna dheere utna hi asardaar hota hai.
15. Kaman se nikla teer or gand se nikla gu kabhi wapas nahi aate.
16. Jaban or lund dono mein haddi nahi hoti.
17. Chut or boot(Shoes) ko jitna ragdoge utna hi chamkenge.
18. Ladai or chudai mein sab jayaj hai.
19. Bahan ke lodo GAND mein dum hai to 19va khud nikal lo.
Dirty SMS
3 gujrati women went to chaat shop.
1st woman: manne chat.
2nd woman: manne ragdo(tikki).
3rd woman: manne pehle chat phir ragdo!!
======
On 1st night
Wife: aaj mera upwaas hai!
Husband slaped his wife and said: kya mere lu*d par aata laga hai jo tera upwas tut jayega.
======
Mallika Sherawat goes 2 doctor,
Doctor, itni garmi mein,
Shooting, partying etc
Main nahate waqt sabun
Lagau ya shampoo?
Ji, nahate waqt bathroom
Ka kunda zaroor lagaye.
======
Girl: Main jab bhi apne pados
wale ladke ko dekhti hu,
meri bra tight ho jati hai.
To uski Ma Boli
"Kal se bra hi mat pehan,
uski pant tight ho jayegi!!"
======
Gabbar : Yeh haath mujhe dede Thakur
Thakur : Lele Bhanch*d, lekin subah
8 baje meri ga*d dhone aa jaana!
======
Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.
Viru: nahi Basantiin kutto
ke samne chaddi mat utarna.
Basanti: Viru dar mat maine
chaddi pahni hi nahi hai...
======
One hakla went 4 a interview & was asked
to say - Institute, Obstitute & Substitute.
Hakla said: Inkichut, Aapkichut & Sabkichut !!
=======
•
Q: Who should be the latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team?
Ans: Wisper Ultra, coz the team is undergoing its worst period!
=======
1st woman: manne chat.
2nd woman: manne ragdo(tikki).
3rd woman: manne pehle chat phir ragdo!!
======
On 1st night
Wife: aaj mera upwaas hai!
Husband slaped his wife and said: kya mere lu*d par aata laga hai jo tera upwas tut jayega.
======
Mallika Sherawat goes 2 doctor,
Doctor, itni garmi mein,
Shooting, partying etc
Main nahate waqt sabun
Lagau ya shampoo?
Ji, nahate waqt bathroom
Ka kunda zaroor lagaye.
======
Girl: Main jab bhi apne pados
wale ladke ko dekhti hu,
meri bra tight ho jati hai.
To uski Ma Boli
"Kal se bra hi mat pehan,
uski pant tight ho jayegi!!"
======
Gabbar : Yeh haath mujhe dede Thakur
Thakur : Lele Bhanch*d, lekin subah
8 baje meri ga*d dhone aa jaana!
======
Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.
Viru: nahi Basantiin kutto
ke samne chaddi mat utarna.
Basanti: Viru dar mat maine
chaddi pahni hi nahi hai...
======
One hakla went 4 a interview & was asked
to say - Institute, Obstitute & Substitute.
Hakla said: Inkichut, Aapkichut & Sabkichut !!
=======
•
Q: Who should be the latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team?
Ans: Wisper Ultra, coz the team is undergoing its worst period!
=======
[Fwd: d]
I am proud being ur friend
because ur:-
20% Great
20% Attractive
20% Noble
20% Dashing
20% Ultra-modern
in short ur 100% G.A.N.D.U.
======
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